Relationship Advice: But How Do I Know?
If you’re anything like the people who come to me for relationship advice I bet you’d like to know the number one mistake that both men and women make when it comes to dating. Even better than that I bet you’d like to know the solution to that mistake. If that’s a piece of relationship advice that interests you then please read on.
I’ve been giving relationship advice through my coaching for enough years to spot the patterns in how people make something that’s fairly natural very complicated.
The number one mistake that men and women continually make is that they fail to communicate their interest in members of the opposite sex. It sometimes appears that the more my clients fancy someone the less likely they are to let them know. This leads to a situation where no one has any real idea of what is going on. So I want to teach you a couple of things that are going to make your life much more exciting and maybe even a little more erotic.
Baboons In Heat
According to Leil Lowndes, when a female baboon comes into heat she strolls over to a male she likes, bends over pressing her butt into his face, then grabs him by the hand and marches him off into the jungle to procreate. Now, that particular technique is not a piece of relationship advice I suggest you use but you might want to keep it in mind. There are some subtler, yet very clear, signals that you need to learn and remember that will allow you to let someone know you’re interested.
Women, you need to know that at least 2/3rds of every romantic encounter are initiated by you. The man may like to think of himself as a hunter but the truth is that he’s fairly cautious (downright terrified in most cases!) about getting rejected by a woman he likes. This might seem like a stupid game to you but please pay attention; I’ve had women go from zero offers of dates in over 3 months to two in one day. Once you know a guy is interested there are 3 top ways of getting the attention you deserve. The first is to smile broadly across the room to the guy. You might even have to do it two or three times but he will eventually approach you if he’s interested. See the tips below for more ideas.
So, you spot someone you are interested in, but how do you know if they’re interested in you? It’s easy.
Do Not Stare!
Men, if she’s interested she’s going to look at you. So when you walk into a room take your time and pay attention. People will generally check out a newcomer, if there’s someone you like or are attracted to then keep looking, subtle now, don’t stare. If she looks back in under a minute then she’s interested and at some point soon you should introduce yourself to her before you manage to convince yourself she wasn’t actually looking at you. Once you get to talking to her there are a number of things you need to be looking out for so you can know if she’s 1. Really not that interested 2. Would like to get to know you better or 3. Gagging for it. (Trust me, they’re out there!) Check out the tips below for more information.
Cow Poke Stance?
Women, it’s really very simple, if he has come over to talk to you I recommend you assume he’s interested. As far as he’s concerned he’s just traversed the fires of hell by approaching you so let’s hope he thinks you’re worth it. There are a couple of classic signals he could be giving off. Where are his hands? If he’s shifted into what’s referred to as ‘Cow Poke’ stance, hands-on-hips, fingers pointing to his groin then you know he’s trying to get your attention. It really is that blatant if you just start paying attention.
If you know what you are looking for people’s bodies give away their secrets all the time. It’s not rocket science, it’s not Jedi mind tricks it’s just knowing what to look for. Not only that, once you know what you’re looking for you can ramp up your own ability to put out the signals that speak directly to someone’s subconscious and get them gravitating in your direction. Now that’s relationship advice worth seeking!
If you’d like to know more about dating and flirting we’ve got a couple of great books here. I’ve spent years wading through lots of different theories and approaches so you don’t need to. Any book I put my name to is a distillation of the things that work. I value my time and yours highly, if it’s in print with my name on it, it’s because it works. Want to learn ‘How To Approach Anyone And Enjoy It?
Another great way to communicate interest, in a guy, is to look him in the eyes and run your fingers through your hair. It’s called autoerotic touching and it works really, really well.
Guys, if you’re talking to a woman and she starts running her fingers through her hair or stroking her arms or thighs you can assume she’s interested. The message her body is giving out is this. 1. She’d like you to notice what she’s touching 2. She may well be inviting you to touch her there sometime in the future.
Pay attention to what people are pointing to as they talk to you, where do their feet point, where are their fingers pointing? If they were naked what would their body be saying to you? A lot of seduction and attraction is deeply subconscious, if you can get even a little more conscious about it you’ll have people approaching you and they won’t even know how you did it.
If he or she touches you in any way then you can assume interest. A great trick is to stop the conversation, touch their arm and say ‘I’m sorry, but in the excitement of meeting you I managed to miss your name.’ Two things happen here, one you’ve communicated excitement, and secondly, you’ve touched them which moves your relationship forward a notch.
Establishing interest is the easy bit, you must then know how to move a person from being interested in you to be wildly excited about knowing more about you. If you’d like to know more I talk about this a lot in my coaching with people looking for relationship advice.